Incredible Summer - Chapters 5 and 6

CHAPTER #5

The Amazing Machine

    "Hey, Barnaby, I got an idea," Uncle Al said. "Let's build something."
    "What?" asked Barnaby.
    "I don't know, anything," replied Uncle Al. "How about a Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine."
    "A Womp-Em Machine? What for?"
    "For fun, I guess," answered Uncle Al."You know, to give us something else to think about. There's nothing like a little extra back here to take your mind off what's bothering you up here."
    "Alright," Barnaby said. "I'm game. Where do we start?"     Uncle Al looked around. "Well, let's see. First we need a crank. Do you see one anywhere?"
    Both Barnaby and Uncle Al began searching through the workshop. Uncle Al was lifting the lids on the trash cans in the corner when he suddenly announced, "Aha, this ought to do just fine." And he pulled out a slightly rusted, old piece of metal that couldn't be mistaken for anything but a crank. "Now let's see if this thing still spins," he said.
    Barnaby tried to turn the device, but it wouldn't budge. "It won't go," he said.
    "Well, give it a good whack," said Uncle Al.
    Barnaby grabbed the big hammer that was lying nearby and gave the crank a good, solid, motivational whack. "Now let's try it," he said. Sure enough, the crank spun like a charm.
    "Good," said Uncle Al. "We'll put it right here."
    With this fine beginning, the two set to work pulling bits and pieces from around the shop over to where the new project was being assembled. Their mood brightened as each gear went into place. In just a few minutes the project looked quite complete. The only thing missing was the delivery device itself, but Uncle Al found a suitable wooden stick in the scrap heap, and so the brand new Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine stood ready for action.
    "Let's give it a test run," suggested Uncle Al. "You give the crank a spin, and I'll stand here and take what's coming."
    Barnaby enjoyed this part of the experiment, and he gave the crank a hearty spin, but when the rod impacted Uncle Al in the appropriate spot, it didn't seem like the impact was quite enough.
    "That'll never do," said Uncle Al. "It's got to deliver more spark than that. Let's try this other piece over here."
    So saying, Uncle Al replaced the wooden stick with a much more commanding piece of artillery.
    "Let's try it again," said Barnaby enthusiastically. "I think this time it's going to work."
    "Yes, I'm afraid it might," answered Uncle Al, but he knew what had to be done, so he stepped bravely up to the machine, only this time he was a little further away to allow for the extra length on the delivery arm.
    Barnaby spun the crank, and the device behaved pretty much the same way as before, but Uncle Al didn't behave the same at all. He stood there silent, with a look on his face that spoke volumes. You could tell he had just been hit by a powerful idea.
    When the initial sensation faded enough to allow Uncle Al the use of his speaking voice, Barnaby asked him, "Is that good enough now?"
    "Yes," Uncle Al answered. "Yes, I believe it is," but the way he said it demonstrated that he was past the point of mere belief.
    "You know," he said suddenly, "there's a few times I could have used this as a youngster. "
    "Like when?" asked Barnaby.
Uncle Al started laughing. Then he explained.

Song 5 - The Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine

    "I remember this man. His name was Adam. We called him Adam Bomb. We used to launch water balloons at his house on cold winter nights. Even when it hadn't snowed, his house had all these icicles hanging from the roof! And I used to cut his lawn every summer."
    "That sounds like one for the machine," said Barnaby, and Uncle Al knew he was right, but just before Barnaby spun the crank, Uncle Al announced what was happening.

This one's for you, Mr. Adam Bomb
You never knew it was me
But I got what I deserved on my brand new
    Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine

    Uncle Al stepped away from the hot spot and said, to no one in particular, "I'm... so... sorry... I did it."
    Barnaby couldn't contain himself any longer. Suddenly he burst out laughing.
    "What are you laughing at?" asked Uncle Al.
    "I remember this lady," Barnaby began. "She was a teacher in elementary school. She was always losing her glasses. We called her Mrs. Spectacles."
    "Wait. Let me guess. You hid her spectacles."
    "No, we didn't touch her spectacles. We all brought in old spectacles from home and placed them all over the class. I remember one day she wore seven different pairs of glasses."
    "And whose idea was it to get all those other glasses?" asked Uncle AI.
    "It was my idea!" Barnaby said.
    "That's what I thought," said Uncle Al. "It's your turn at the machine."
    Barnaby hadn't experienced the machine yet on the receiving end, so he stood in the target zone without any apprehension and announced why he was there.

This one's for you, Mrs. Spectacles
You never knew it was me
But I got what I deserved on my brand new
    Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine

Now it was Barnaby who was left searching for words. When at last he could speak, all he could say was, "I'm.. so.. sorry I did it."
    Uncle Al, seeing it for the first time from the crank side of things, tried hard not to laugh, but suddenly he couldn't help it.
    Barnaby turned to look. "What are you laughing at?" he said.
    Uncle Al started to explain. "I remember this one lady. She had several pets: one of them was a cow. She used to milk the cow and then churn her own butter. So we called her Mrs. Butter. But when she started feeding her cow a cup of coffee every morning, we changed her name to Mrs. Butternut! I remember one day I was helping her churn, and when she wasn't looking, I put leftover coffee grounds into the butter. Do you know, when she tasted it - ha, ha - she thought it was the cow's fault!"
    They both laughed at this one. They couldn't help it. Barnaby was feeling pretty good again, and he kinda liked the idea of another spin, so he motioned to Uncle Al to stand you know where. This is what Uncle Al said.

This one's for you, Mrs. Butternut
You never knew it was me
But I got what I deserved on my brand new
    Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine

    I don't suppose the feeling was any more startling than before, so it must have been the fact that it was already his third take. Anyway, he said, "I... really am... sorry this time."
    Barnaby was almost on the floor with laughter. Uncle Al slowly turned to look.
    "What are you laughing at?" he said.
    Barnaby was laughing too hard to speak, but when he got his composure back, he said, "I remember this man. He made sausages, so we called him Mr. Liverwurst. One day when the meat was being ground up, I dumped in several quarts of chocolate syrup. You should have seen that batch of sausages. Of course nobody would buy them."
    "So what happened?"
    "Every day at 12:30 I ate one."
    Uncle Al did a double-take. "You had those chocolate sausages for your lunch?"
    "No, not for lunch," Barnaby countered.
    "I had them for dessert!" Uncle Al just shook his head. "Step up to the machine, young man," he said.
    Barnaby knew the routine. He stepped into the target zone and made the following statement.

This one's for you, Mr. Liverwurst
You never knew it was me
But I got what I deserved on my brand new
    Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine

Barnaby stepped away again, and when he could find his voice you might have heard something like "I'm feeling... sorrier... by the minute." But I don't suppose Uncle Al heard it. He was laughing again. Barnaby turned to look. "What's so funny?" he asked.
    "Oh, I have so many more," Uncle Al answered. "If only a certain part of me could take it!"
    "Well," Barnaby ventured, "how about just one more for all the other things we did?"
    Uncle Al thought this was a good compromise. "Good idea," he said. "We'll announce this one together, then you run and spin the crank real hard, and come back and stand by me." They stood side by side for the declaration.

This one's for all the other things we did
And you never knew it was me
But I got what I deserved on my brand new
    Hopped Up Womp-Em Machine

    Barnaby ran back and gave the crank the best spin he could. Then he ran over to where Uncle Al was already in position. It was a marvelous moment. The contraption came around with such force, it knocked them clean off their feet, and they both tumbled to the floor. It was a few seconds before either of them could look up, but when they slowly lifted their faces, you could see the machine had indeed made up for several more stories. Then, without any warning, the looks on their faces began to change. They looked at one another and started to grin just a little, then a hint of a smile, then suddenly the humor of the whole situation gripped them, and they sat up and just started laughing. Finally Barnaby, losing it completely, threw his arms up over his head and fell back to the floor. Oh, it was a beautiful sight. I can't tell you how long they laughed, but I can tell you this. That evening a man and a boy went to Mr. Post's restaurant for dinner, and they were both in a brighter mood than either one had been in for quite some time. The waitress didn't mind; she liked happy customers. But try as she might, she never did figure out why they both sat down so slowly.

CHAPTER #6

Barnaby's Terrible Idea

    Time went by and the summer turned into July. Reggie and Barnaby became good friends, and Reggie taught Barnaby a lot about baseball. They were often seen throwing the ball back and forth across the diamond in the afternoon after boy's baseball practice was over. Although Barnaby was definitely improving, Rodney Stone still didn't have much use for him. Barnaby kept hoping that someday his perseverance would pay off and he could be a part of the team too, but for now that was simply not to be. As for Reggie, he never could understand why the boys quit every day after fifteen minutes just to go walk the dogs, so he was glad to stay and spend some more time on the field.
    But have you noticed? When things are going along nice and smooth, a small bump in the road can send you careening right over the edge. In this case, it was the personal magnetism of Robin Banks that began to swing the compass in Barnaby's heart. It was one of those summertime romance things. Reggie tried to talk him out of the whole idea, but Barnaby was smitten, and that was that. On the field, their conversations inevitably turned in this new direction.
    "Hey, Reggie, I was thinking," Barnaby said one day as they were playing catch.
    "What about?"
   "Can't you guess?"
    "Oh, no, not that again," Reggie said.
    "But this time I have a really good idea," Barnaby said. He held the ball for a moment while he explained. "If I'm going to win Robin's attention, I have to do something a little different. All the boys help her, but she hardly notices them."
    "And what will you do to get her to notice you?" Reggie asked.
    Barnaby didn't say anything. He just walked over to the bleachers, opened a paper bag he had brought, reached in, and pulled out a dog costume.
    "Don't tell me you're going to wear that," Reggie said, but it was too late. Barnaby just laughed, and started putting it on.
    "Here, hold the leash," Barnaby said a few seconds later. Reggie couldn't believe his eyes, but he did as he was told. "She'll know I'm not a real dog," Barnaby continued, "but since she likes animals so much, this way she's sure to notice me."
    Now I know this is hard to believe, but somehow in his love-struck condition, Barnaby had chosen the perfect day. Robin, after walking the dogs with all the help that turned up every afternoon, thought how nice it would be to walk her favorite dog with a little peace and quiet. But where could she go where the boys wouldn't find her? Was there any place in town where the boys couldn't possibly be? And then she knew - the baseball field. Not after practice. No way. They would never be there. She waited till the boys were out of sight. Then she grabbed her favorite little pup, Muffin, and took the long way around town.
    So there Barnaby was, explaining his great idea, and before he even had time to practice being a dog, he looked up and saw you know who coming across the field. I suppose if they had been in the middle of town, Reggie would have pulled out altogether, but out here on the edge of town, with no one around, he just decided to play along.
    "Hi, Robin," he called out to her.
    "Hi, Reggie," she said. "Say, I didn't know you had a dog."
    "Well, actually, I just got it today," he said.
    "You didn't get it at the pet shop. I've never seen that dog before."
    "Neither have I," answered Reggie. "I mean, at least not quite like this."
    Reggie felt almost certain that Robin could see through the disguise, but then that's what Barnaby was hoping would happen, so he didn't dare say anything.
    Robin looked around. "What a beautiful day this is," she commented. "I just had to get out for a little peace and quiet. Do you want to sit down?" she asked.
    "Sure. Why not?" Reggie said.
    "Sit down, Muffin," Robin commanded, and Muffin promptly obeyed.
    "Sit down," said Reggie, and Barnaby did.
    "Doesn't your dog have a name?" asked Robin.
    "Oh, yes. His name is Barn - stormer."
    "Barnstormer? That's a funny name," she said.
    "It's all I could think of at the time," he said.
    "Muffin's a good dog," she said. "Here, would you like a dog biscuit, Muffin?" She tossed one to her little pup. Then she turned to Reggie. "Do you think Barnstormer would like a dog biscuit too?"
    "I'm sure he would," said Reggie. Barnaby sort of choked on it, and tried to put it out of his mind that he had just eaten a dog biscuit that included a little dirt from the infield.
    "Why don't you run around a little, Muffin," Robin said, and she unhooked the leash.
    "You too," said Reggie, and Barnaby followed Muffin out onto the field, but he didn't go too far away. He wanted to hear the conversation.
    "You know, Reggie," Robin said, "I've never really noticed boys all that much."
    "You can say that again," answered Reggie. "But I guess I don't blame you. They do act silly when you're around."
    "You mean walking the dogs, and all that?" she asked. "Yeah, I guess I don't really mind though. But you know, when I like someone for real, I want that person to be more sensible. Kind of like you, Reggie. You're a pretty sensible person."
    "Thank you, Robin." said Reggie. He hadn't expected this kind of compliment at all.
    Robin looked at him. "Of all the boys in Benderburg, I think it's you I like the most."
    Now this really took Reggie by surprise. He didn't know what to say, but fortunately he didn't have to. It was Muffin who handled the situation in stride. She barked happily and came running right over to Reggie as if to say she heartily approved of the whole situation.
    Barnaby came running over too, but he wasn't barking happily like Muffin. His was a mournful, despairing bark that trailed off, and sounded more suited to a dark night with a bright moon overhead.
    Reggie understood immediately, but Robin didn't even seem to notice, or at least she didn't say anything if she did.
    "Well, what do you say? Could we at least walk our dogs again sometime?" Robin asked.
    "Well, yes... well, I don't really know," said Reggie.
    "Is there something wrong?"
    "No, I just... think I better take one day at a time right now," he said.
    "That's a very sensible idea," said Robin. "It sounds good to me. Anyway, hope to see you soon. Come on, Muffin, let's go." She hooked up the leash, and away they went, and I think they both felt pretty good.
    Barnaby didn't feel nearly as well. Not only did the events of the last few minutes go in entirely the wrong direction, but even the dog biscuit seemed to be conspiring against him as it went to work in his stomach. He waited till Robin was out of sight, and then he took off the unhappy disguise.
    Reggie watched him in silence. Finally he said, "I guess this wasn't your lucky day."
    "No," Barnaby said, "but I think maybe it was yours. Did you hear what she said? She likes you, Reggie."
    "I heard," Reggie said resignedly. It was obvious he hadn't anticipated this turn of events any more than Barnaby had, and with all his good sense still didn't know what to make of it.
    "What are you going to do?" Barnaby asked.
    Reggie didn't answer at first. Then very deliberately he said, "I'm going to take one day at a time."
    Barnaby looked down at his costume which just a few moments before had been such a great idea. He smiled, and even laughed just a little. "It was pretty funny, wasn't it?" he said.
    "Yes," Reggie said. "It was."
    "I just hope," Barnaby added, "she didn't know it was really me."
    But, of course, she did. Who could mistake a boy dressed in such an outfit for a real dog? Robin knew it from the very beginning. But it was such a fun game, she simply had to play along. And the part about liking Reggie, well, that was actually real, so the opportunity was made to order.
What a fun afternoon it had turned out to be. And she simply couldn't resist telling a few people about Barnaby's new identity. In all fairness, she didn't tell the whole world, but
she didn't have to. The people she told shared the news with a few others, and these in turn spread the story until the whole town rocked back and laughed a good laugh. Barnaby had done it again.
    The next morning when Barnaby came walking down the street he had no way of knowing that every radio in town was tuned toWBRG.

Song 6 - Woof, Woof, Could This Be Puppy Love?

Woof... Woo.f.. Woof... Woof...
(What's going on? Why does everyone look at me that way?)
Woof... Woof....
(What did I do?) Woof! (Tell me what did I say?)

Woof Woof - Could this be puppy love? (Oh, no!)
I'm feeling frisky, foot-loose, fancy free
Woof Woof - Could this be puppy love?
I think I found the puppy in me

Yesterday I thought my life was normal, routine
I even found it boring on occasion
I don't know what it is but something's coming over me
And suddenly today's a celebration Yes-sir-ree!

Woof Woof - Could this be puppy love?
I'm feeling frisky, foot-loose, fancy free
Woof Woof - Could this be puppy love?
I think I found the puppy in me

The band is playing but there is no bass drum
Cause my heart's providing all the thump that's needed
It's so automatic I don't have to beat it
I hear it bumping, thumping, jumping, pumping
Yes-sir-ree! Put it all together

Woof Woof - Could this be puppy love?
I'm feeling frisky, foot-loose, fancy free
Woof Woof - Could this be puppy love?
I think I found the puppy in me

I think I found... Oh yes I found... I know I found...
    The Puppy In Me!
Arf Arf... Arf Arf Arf... Woof!